Tena'im Contract

True and certain, established and enduring, fair and faithful, beloved and cherished, delightful and pleasant, awesome and powerful, correct and accepted, good and beautiful is this affirmation to us forever and ever.
Robert J. Lowe, son of Doris Lowe and the late Joseph Lowe and, Shawn Ann Welton daughter of Wallace “Rocky” Welton and Phyllis Welton agree to enter into the covenant of marriage, through huppah and betrothal, in accordance with the Laws of Moses and Israel.
The wedding will take place, b'ezrat Hashem, on the 11th day of July in the year 2009 corresponding to the Jewish date of the 19th day of Tamuz in the year 5769, at Lake Tahoe, Nevada.
Robert and Shawn commit to the following conditions for their marriage
• To create a home that follows Jewish rhythms, including a meaningful celebration of Shabbat and holidays, and incorporates Jewish rituals, traditions, and laws into their everyday life.
• To make tikkun olam a part of their everyday life by having an environmentally conscious home, being involved in social justice projects and organizations, and giving tzedakah on a regular basis.
• Robert makes a legal commitment not to withhold a Get should one be required.
• To live a life that affirms their belief in the importance of diversity and equality in their community and the world.
• To give friendship and support to one another and to work together as equal partners through life's challenges.
• To resolve conflict through listening to each other and empathizing with one another, and through taking responsibility for their own feelings.
• To support each other to be excellent in their professional endeavors, but, at the same time, to make their home life and time together as a family their top priority.
• To share financial responsibilities for the family and, at the same time, affirm each other's freedom to make personal spending decisions. They will also maintain awareness that money is a means to an end and not an end in itself.
• To share home responsibilities fairly, recognizing each other's abilities and constraints.
• To, God willing, be blessed with children and to raise them in a home filled with love for one other, dedication to Judaism, and commitment to inclusiveness.
• To create a warm and open home where their family, friends, and community always feel welcome.
They shall not run away nor conceal from each other anything with regard to their possessions; rather, they should equally share authority over their possessions, in peace and tranquility, as is the way of those who are children of the Torah and who are in awe of God. All this was done with perfect understanding and due deliberation,
AND EVERYTHING IS VALID AND CONFIRMED.

The Date Has Been Set

Finally, they all say! October 12, Rob and I set a date for a wedding. How auspicious, 12 years and we decided on the 12th. We are getting married July 11, 2009. We're headed to Lake Tahoe and hopefully, when the guy calls me back tomorrow, the venue I want won't be booked. I'm hoping to be married in the Aspen grove at about 7:00 pm on that day. I've got a book and I'm taping all kinds of ideas into it, but it's starting to become a little overwhelming. I've got the check list and have done some of the things. I have someone to marry us, I've figured out a dress, I just have to spend some time with Mom to get it all going, I've figured out about a ring for Rob, one of our local jewelry artists is going to do it for him.

I've talked to Rabbi ElizaBeth,and she will happily perform the ceremony. We're going to have blues and greens, like the Mediterranean, for our colours.

We had our engagement party/ceremony on Saturday, October 25. It's called a Tena'im. We read a contract that we have written, kind of like a pre-nup, only I get sheep instead of a lot of money, if we split up. Really, It's kind of cool. I've put it on the blog page, so you can read it if you are interested.

Then two of our older friends broke a plate to mingle our families together. Neither of our parents could be here, so that's the way we did it. We had about 20 people and it was a lot of fun.

This is when I really wish I lived closer. I miss everyone so much, and would like to share all of this with them, daily.

Remember when I said that there were three projects I wanted to get done this summer? One of them was the porch, well, Rob found someone who's going to do something to the porch, I'm not sure what, but we have to scrape it and prime it and something else. I really didn't want to do this when school was going on. But, there will be no tennis and no goofing around today, and we'll work on the porch.

Ick!!!

Back to Elko

I made it back to Elko on Wednesday, yesterday in hopes to get lots of things done for Yom Kippur. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. The house was a sty. Seriously, I've never seen something like it in my life. I thought for sure after I swept the house that the dog would be bald. There was more hair than you can imagine. I ran to the grocery store after I finished cleaning the house. I had hoped to have a leisurely afternoon, but we are having people here on Thursday evening for break the fast, so the house had to be clean and I had to buy food for Thursday evening. I'm just doing a big macaroni and cheese since we are eating dairy with salad. Mira is bringin gefelte fish and bagels, Marianne is bringing egg salad, I suspect that Herb and Barb will bring something, as well as Pam. I'll just have to find out when they come for prayer services at 11:00. I'm not sure what we're supposed to do there, but I'll figure it out.

I really do miss being in Abilene. I like being involved in family. It's nice that everyone supports everyone else and I'd like to be closer to do that.

Dad has an MRI today, and I am wishing him lots of luck with that and many prayers.

At Home

I've gone home this week to see my family.  So I'm in Kansas.  It's been a tremendous amount of fun and activity.  I got here on Thursday and then had to go to the emergency room with Mom.  She had an infection that was feeling like a heart attack.  We took care of that, and then Friday we had homecoming in Abilene.  That's where they are at now.  We watched Kane get to stand on the sidelines of the varsity game.  He was not happy and came home and said it was the most boring thing he had ever done.  

On Saturday we had Miller's soccer game.  His team won.  2 - 0. It was a hoot watching the little 5 and 6 year olds play.  Miller played goalie and he saved the day, keeping them from making a goal.  He also played the defense and up front.  They play all the kids in different positions.

Today, Sunday, I am going to watch Malorie play volleyball and then there is a block party for the neighborhood.  Meriam and Tate along with there kids are coming.  Hogan, Jadyn, and Tiger.  It should be a lot of fun to see everybody.  

Monday, we are off to the doctor for Dad, and then there's something else going on.  

Tuesday, there is cross country in Ellsworth and jv football here, so I'll get to watch Kolby and Kane.  The only two I didn't get to  watch were Keil and Audrey.  

I have to say that Dad's memory is much worse than it was in April.  It will be interesting to see what the doctor has to say on Monday.  Hopefully he will order a new MRI and we'll see how that goes.

Wednesday, Nancy is taking me back to the airport early, early, early, as I fly out at 7:00 am.  That way I'll be home, and can get things ready for Yom Kippur the next day.

It will be hard going back, it always is.  I feel depressed for a while, because I really do miss everyone a lot.  I like being here and being involved in what the kids do.  It's nice to have family so close by.

Why Can't I Find Time To Do This?

How is it that all the time I spent coaching cross country for all those years is now filled with other stuff? It's not as if I've taken on any extra projects, I haven't. What is the saying about time and a vacuum? Anyway, here is the next installment of "A Fisherman and the Rolling Stones."



This is when the tough negotiations start. Not between, Rob, Lili and I, but between Rob and Toni. Toni, who has never been further away from Peniscola than Barcelona, (an hour and a half away) wants to take the train to El Ejido. He wants to be able to smoke all the way there and they (I guess) have a smoking car on the train. So the negotiations begin. Rob has spent big bank on this rental car and it’s silly for it to sit in Peniscola while we spend money on train tickets. Rob is absolutely adamant that we use the car. I am too for that matter, who wants to take the train when you can sit in a car with a man who doesn’t stop talking for seven hours. Not me. Anyway, we go to the information booth on the beach to find out about the train from Peniscola to El Ejido. This is after we have been to the mini bull fight in one of the small plazas in Peniscola. I’m just not really sure of the appeal of the bull fight. I guess I get the masculinity thing, but I find it kind of awful all the same. We finally find Toni at the bull fight and we go to the info booth. The woman running the booth has a map of Spain and really the trip by train would be too long. It would be faster to take the car.
Toni, never really happy about it finally relents and says he’ll go in the car. Rob has to lay down some ground rules first. 1. No smoking in the car. It’s a rental and Lili is in the car. 2. Shawn has to sit in the front seat and navigate. 3. We can’t be up front at the concert because Lili doesn’t like the noise and we have to make her comfortable. Toni agrees, but you can tell he’s hoping he can sway Rob to stand with him at the concert.
Now I would never say that Toni had a surly attitude, because normally he’s a bright and cheerful person. But Friday morning Toni had a surly attitude. We had decided to leave mid morning. Toni though, not wanting to miss the concert, was up two hours early and waiting for us two hours early. We don’t move fast in the morning at home, let alone on vacation. As we are talking about the seating, Rob mentions that the seats are general seating. Toni pitches a fit. He’s not sitting in general seating and he’s not going, and thanks, but no thanks. So, I go to the internet, where I had ordered the tickets the night before and email the vendor and ask if we can turn the tickets back in and get a refund if we aren’t going to the concert. They reply telling me that it’s no problem. We can return the tickets. So the big question now is, “Have we returned the tickets or will they be waiting for us at the Carrefour (think Costco, Sam’s Warehouse, only better) in Valencia.”

Aaarrrggghh!

I guess the title sums it all up. I'm trying like all get out to make it through the week, but sometimes you can be way-laid by the most stupid things. Take this one for example. I teach, we all know that, I've been teaching for 20 years. That's a really scary thing, but anyway, I went to work yesterday and stopped by my mailbox, which I do every morning, and found some papers for a program that we do at our school to keep kids from getting zeros. It's not a program I participate in, because, it's time consuming, and I don't have time. So, the papers are in my box and I look at them and they say, Mr. Welton. Now, with the name Shawn, I've had to deal with being a Mr. most of my life, but never in the 20 years I have been teaching has anyone ever used Mr. Welton on any kind of paper work for me. I even taught in the same building with my dad for three years and never got mail addressed to Mr. Welton. I have to say that I was angry. Really, truly, positively angry. The vice principal who made the mistake ought to know better because his name is Keri. I suspect he has received mail addressed to Ms. or Mrs. his whole life. I guess that's why I expected him to be ultra careful about something like this.

I took the sheaf of papers and walked into the other vice principal's office, Donna and put them on her desk. My comment was "This is my dad, and he doesn't teach here." She looked upset and told me that she would deal with it.

Today I talked to her and she told me she told Keri that he should ask if he wasn't sure about things. It's really not the response I wanted, but I guess it's better than nothing.

I'm really fighting a lot of being depressed lately. I don't know exactly why. School, relationship, life, etc. Not a lot of fun I suppose. I hate this time of year. It's not fun for me. I let things get me down and am entirely too sensitive.

My car is being a pain in the butt right now too. It won't start. It just cranks and cranks and cranks. It needs a jolt, but I can't seem to give it one.

So this has been a total rant, because I can rant here and not worry about what anyone thinks. I realize all of these things are small potatoes, but they are potatoes none the less.

It's no longer summer for a teacher

It's started again, that dirty word. Teacher meetings. We started on Wednesday, and this year I made it through the whole meeting without being frustrated at the administration. I can't say that happened today, as I just sent an email to my prinicpal asking him to explain the most studid opening-day schedule that I have ever seen.

Where do these people get this stuff?!

I've had a minute or two to relax this week after last weekend. I converted to Judaism last weekend. I spent an hour in a Beit Din, which is a question/answer session that is really quite grueling. I was nervous through the whole thing. Once that was completed, the three members of the Beit Din, Rabbi Beyer, Mike Medvin, and Pam Zohar went with me to Lamoille Canyon which has to be one of the most scenic places in Nevada for my mikveh. The mikveh is a ritual bath that you take to become purifed. You have to immerse yourself three times. After the first time, you recite some blessings that the Rabbi repeats for you. The second time, the Rabbi sings a quick song, and after the third time, your attendant, (mine was my best friend, Mira Kurka), says a special vow and prayer for you. I have to tell you that the water was the coldest I have ever been in and my toes were numb by the time I got out. This water is mountain glacier run-off. Sooooooo cold.

We then went back to our house where we had a shabbat dinner that was awesome, even if I was the one to cook it. We had grilled portobello mushroom burgers and grilled salmon burgers with artichoke salad that Rob made and a rice and pea salad that I made. We had challah and some smoked salmon that I did on the smoker that Rob's mom gave us. All in all, I think it went very well.

My good friends Walter and Cindy came to Elko with their son Luke. It really meant the world to me that they came. They are lovely and caring people. They stayed with Rob and I and it was such fun.

Saturday we had a ceremony at the presbyterian church. We don't have a synagogue in Elko, we're just too small a community, so we have the presbyterian church. We had a regular Saturday morning service with the conversion ceremony thrown in for good measure. It was a lot of fun. I was called up to the alter and read the blessings for the reading of the Torah and then we relaxed Saturday afternoon after a great Indian meal. For dinner we went to the Star Restaurant (18 of us) and Rob fed us all a great Basque meal. It was a tremendous amount of fun. We couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

Sunday, we got up and took our friends Walter and Cindy and Luke to our friends Mira and Gary's house. It is an amazing house and Walter who is a metal artist is going to do some work for them. It was a lot of fun to see all of the house and Mira's plan for it.

Well, I must finish with my syllabi. School starts on Monday. Have a great weekend.